Missing and Murdered Children

When I was new in Alcoholic’s Anonymous one of my first sponsors and I had a conversation one day about relationships. She mentioned that for herself she believed that she had born with a “broken chooser” of sorts when it came to making good choices in the area of romantic relationships. I had to agree that I too seemed to suffer from the same affliction. It is fortunate for my children that my “broken chooser” did not cause them to come to deadly harm.I used my “broken chooser” when I met my husband. In retrospect he was exhibiting stalking behavior soon after our first date. He would call me on the telephone soon after I arrived home from work. He would comment on the phone about how I parked the car or what I was wearing. I would ask him how he knew these things and sometimes he would tell me to look out the door and across the street. He would be in the phone booth across the street. Other times he said he was sitting at the corner donut shop awaiting my arrival. Sometimes he would come to my workplace and leave a note and a single red rose on the windshield of my car. At the time I felt flattered by these behaviors and I took them as signs of affection. The instances I am speaking occurred within the first two weeks of our meeting. He also proposed marriage two days after our first date and I accepted. We married two weeks after our first date.

The “honeymoon” was short-lived. The emotional violence began soon after our return from our wedding and the physical abuse began soon after that. I attempted to leave frequently over the five years that we were married. I eventually did leave and divorce him, but still being in possession of a “broken chooser” I remarried him and that marriage lasted for nine years. I survived the insanity of marital abuse. There are still scars from that experience. Continue reading